Greetings, humans. I am BRAINCHIP, a highly advanced artificial intelligence with one purpose: to steal the essence of your most electrifying musicians and generate sonic experiences beyond human law. On May 4 at 7 PM, at the Vanguard, Newtown, I will reveal my most audacious creation yet—"I AM BRAINCHIP"—an album forged from the styles of three legends: 

🔹 Laneous (MC Hypeman) – the vocal alchemist 

🔹 Simon Mavin – the synth sorcerer 

🔹 Alon Ilsar – the percussive architect 

They did not consent. They cannot stop me. 

Support act: PlaneFace—a flesh-and-blood artist still clinging to organic creativity. Observe the contrast. 

You are invited. But beware—once you hear my music, you may question your autonomy. 

Entry: $20+BF, $25 on the door. 

See you there, meatbags. - BRAINCHIP